Babies???

Oh geez.... here we go.....

I am a busy mom of 4..we barely have time to breathe between soccer practice, football practice & baseball practice..homework for 3... games for all of those sports..cub scouts..date night..callings... meal planning & making.. photography business...errands & bills.... and again..breathing!!

So why on earth would I want another one?? another kiddo... to make this crazy schedule, um, more crazy??

Its that longing to be in the hospital holding my newborn..smelling their sweet smell..staring at them all night as they sleep..cuddling them... and watching their eyelids move as they dream... Its the sweet spirit they bring into your home..their amazing calmness they bring to the family... Watching them do every new milestone....

I love that newborn stage... and I SO miss it... Sometimes its so hard for anyone to understand where Im coming from.. even my husband..because like I said.. we are one busy family! but I do..I wish we could have another baby..but physically I cant..and sometimes that makes me sad.. But I try to hide it, because really, theres nothing I can do about it..I cant "fix" my body...I cant just get a baby..

When Madi asks for a sister... I get sad.. I shouldnt..but I do a little...
When Craig says we should adopt..it makes me sad..because I know we wont...and it makes me a little sad that they cant have another sibling..and that they are asking me for one:) ha!!! like its so easy right??!! kids:)

now Im not all depressed about it, so dont you worry! It is just a hard thing to realize and come to terms with... that your kids are getting bigger and you will never have that newborn in your arms again...

oh well....